Get into the Biz of reality TV...

OK: I hate reality shows; they are the dark, slimy scourge of the entertainment biz but they're really the only shows that make money on a large scale.
Also: I really hate major labels because they are greedy sons'o bitches; everybody knows it and the people who work for them know it but they don't care,'cause they're making that loot.
"Get into the Biz" is an AOL/Time Warner reality show (online) that will give contestants a shot at running a label under the guidance of Lyor Cohen who was involved in the early careers of the Beastie Boys, LL Cool J and others at Def Jam. He was also involved as a partner in Phat Pharm with Russell Simmons. So he's a legend, he's rich and I'm sure he'd make my life miserable If I won the contest and worked under him. "What do you mean I can't sign Lawnchair Generals to a major deal?" I might inquire in a heated executive meeting.
So even though I hate major labels I would love to infiltrate one and show them how it's done. I know I would be good at finding great artists that might even be digestible to the lowest common denominator. Though I would have a tough time letting a promising artist produce an album only to have it shelved only because our market research estimates that they might sell only 200,000 units
domestically, and since it won't be a blockbuster stock pumper I'll end up ruining the lives of said artists just because my corporate whore pimp slapped me with that menacing "don't make me hurt my hand again" look on his face, saying, "that bitch ain't making me no money, so it's got to go."
Maybe I'll sign up, and maybe I'll win. I could even get an expense account for payola bribes to radio execs to convince them to put my new Lawnchair Generals signing into Clear Channel world-wide heavy rotation. That would be fucking suhhhhhweeeet!
Click here; you could be famous!




